Christian dating women with children
To a pimply 17 year-old young man with an imagination, this is compelling enough to “surrender your life to Jesus.” Even worse than the expectations branded on young men is the impression left on young men and women who have sinned sexually.
The “stay pure till marriage” rhetoric offers this problematic axiom: purity = being a virgin; therefore, losing one’s virginity = impurity.
For all of our theological maturity, we still expect that marriage to a beautiful virgin is our entitled reward for not having sex in high school.
I am convinced that many Christian young man have not fully shaken off this terrible theology.
Single Christian men, beware of the indictment Jesus offered to the Pharisees: “They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger.” (Matthew 23:4) We are not told in Ephesians -31 that marriage is intended to satisfy vain expectations, or that it’s the entitled reward of a virgin for a virgin, we are told that marriage is a covenant, intended to reflect the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is true that ordinarily, children are supposed to be the product of marriage, and where childbearing occurs apart from marriage, sin has occurred in some way, shape, or form.
But, marriage, in its essence, isn’t merely defined as “the proper union for bearing and raising children.” No, in its essence, marriage is supposed to be a display of the gospel!
Marriage, young men are told at youth camp, is our reward for not having sex in high school.In an instant, this mother became a wife, and this husband became a father.Every wedding marks the beginning of a family, but these kinds do so in a uniquely palpable sense.Note, I am not saying that young Christian men should lower their standards to include single moms, as if to say condescendingly “Hey, single moms are a gift of God’s grace too.” I’m not saying that the expectation of a childless virgin is too high, I’m saying it’s just flat out not biblical.Being a consistent Christian means actually seeing Christian men and women in Christ, bearing all of the righteousness and purity and holiness that union with Christ implies.
Even in the case of rape, a consistent Christian looks at the conception of a child as the brightly shinning silver-lining, which runs straight down the middle of a tragic situation.