Relationship courtship dating
We even have a new lexicon for them: “ghosting” (ending all communication abruptly and disappearing), “icing” (communicating with less frequency and/or truncated responses, which creates distance, longing, and anxiety), and “simmering” (communicating sporadically, like if you’re pursuing someone else but want to keep your options open). Someone might not want to respond right away for a variety of reasons: They’re at work or at school, or they want to write just the right response.Or they might be trying to project an air of nonchalance, not wanting to appear too available or desperate for attention.While texting and swiping may appear to sidestep the initial discomfort and risk that come with vulnerability, they ultimately hold us back.
It’s much easier to mask ambivalence and ambiguity when you’re not physically with a person.Even if you personally don’t watch it, porn has altered the broader landscape of sexual attitudes and expectations.Our phones have disrupted traditional protocols around courtship and dating, and we have dispensed with some of the most basic forms of social etiquette that evolved around more direct forms of communication.These are the three broad shifts I see, and they all have costs.The internet has increased our opportunity to date by providing a greater pool of potential sexual partners, which is exciting and fascinating on one level.
When you’re on the receiving end, you don’t know how to interpret those behaviors, again because you’re not looking at or even hearing the voice of a live person.